Jasper Jones

Hanging around a warehouse can really broaden your horizons. I work with a lot of guys, of all ages, and a few women, too. The women tend to be a little more masculine than I’m accustomed to being around, but hey, that’s the way it is.

Sometimes I hear words or phrases that are completely new to me. I am the first to admit that I don’t hand out on downtown street corners to keep up with the street talk. Usually if you can hear the whole conversation you can figure out what they are saying just from the context of the convo and the inflection in their voice. Sometimes  I have no clue.

There is a website that helps with this, called Urban Dictionary. It’s a user contributed website, a little like the Wikipedia idea, where they throw up a word or a phrase and the users write in with the definition plus use it in a sentence or two to help clarify the meaning. I like the way they have a “word of the day” so you can stay on top of the newest slang. Or you can search for a word by spelling it out - if you can figure that out - or by just using the first couple of letters to search through all the entries. When you search by letter you come across some interesting side trips for words you never heard of before.

I’m amazed to find that people actually talk like this every day - they must all live in L. A. or Detroit or someplace very urban. Because I can tell you, I’m around high school and college age kids all the time and I don’t hear half this stuff used around here, and a lot of it would get my face slapped if I tried to work it into my own conversations at home.

Thanks to my girlfriend for sending me this MeMe. Not sure how these MeMe things are supposed to work, but here’s my answers.

This morning:

1. What day is this?

Sunday

2. What time did your alarm go off (the first time!)

7:00 am - every day

3. Snooze button or actually got up?

Actually got up - if I snooze I lose

4. Did you wake up anyone else before leaving the house?

Nope - I wouldn’t DARE

5. Coffee or tea or ________?

Coffee - black and strong

6. Did you make breakfast?

Yes, kinda. Took a slice of leftover banana nut bread and spread butter on it to eat with my coffee.

7. Where were you sitting when you ate breakfast?

At my computer, of course!

8. Did you do any household chores before leaving the house?

Unloaded the dishwasher while the coffee was brewing. Hey, I don’t mind helping out, and what else are you supposed to do for those 3 agonizing minutes while the coffee drips?

9. If you tended to any animals before leaving the house, what did you do?

Took the dogs out for their morning walk and gave them treats when they came back inside.

10. Was the TV on at all this morning? What channel?

The TV stays on Channel 5, which is CBS, 24/7 except for hockey games and the “Ice Road Truckers” Sunday nights at 8:00.

11. Did you pack a lunch?

No - I don’t like packed lunches. They never taste as good as something fresh and hot from a drive-thru.

12. Did you make the bed or leave it rumpled?

I pull the sheets and covers up and fluff the pillows, but it’s still rumpled.

13. Did you read a newspaper? Which one(s)?

Glanced at “The Tennessean” front page but I’ll read it later. Maybe tomorrow.

14. When you first stepped outside, what was the weather?

Sunny and hot - it’s summer!

15. What shoes were you wearing?

Flip flops - let me repeat - it’s summer!

The Top 10 Most Popular Baby Names last year, according to our Federal Government’s Social Security Administration website:

Boys Names

Girls Names

   I was standing on my porch on the side of my house smoking a cigarette and talking to my mother when a darn SNAKE came into my driveway from the back edge of my house about 10 feet from the porch I’m standing on.  I HATE snakes with a passion.  My mother was laughing her rear off listening to me try and figure out how to get that darn thing away from my house.  It was black with thin white circles around it about an inch apart all down it’s body.  Mom said it was a king snake but all I know and all that mattered to me was it was a snake.  Usually I run and scream like a little girl but I didn’t do that this time.  Honestly, I was kinda jumping around and having sort of a hissy fit if you know what they are.  They aren’t very pretty.

   I decided I wanted it to go out of my yard and the only way to get it out was to run it out.  I didn’t want to kill it (even though I think the only good snake is a dead one) since Mom said it was one that would eat mice and stuff like that and not harmful to me as long as I didn’t hurt myself trying to get away from it which I have done before when I saw a snake.  Anyway, here I am with my phone in one hand talking to my mother and a pole that is about 8 feet long in the other hand trying to get the snake to go on across my driveway away from my house.  The darn thing turned and started back towards me.  I’m in my yard jumping around like a little girl telling my mother what’s going on while she’s laugh like some kind of nut at me.

   Long story short, well I have no idea where the darn thing went because I finally got it out in my driveway enough to go get in my van and try to run over it.  All the stupid thing had to do was go away and we both would have been happy but NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Well I tried to run over it but don’t think I succeeded because it’s not in my driveway DEAD the way I wanted it to be and I think the stupid thing ended up going under my house because there’s a small chip out of the door that goes under my house close to where it was before I tried to run over it.  Now I’m hoping and praying that it doesn’t end up finding someway to get into my house because I do like my house but if that snake gets in here, he can have my house.  So how was your morning?

  The Lakers looked great in the first two games of their series vs. the Spurs. These first two games where in Los Angeles  at the Lakers home court. The next game was in San Antonio, where the Spurs would take the home court to their advantage. In game three the Spurs looked like a different team, mostly because of  Ginobali. He had thirty points in game three, more than in both games one and two combined. With the series at 2-1 in favor of the Lakers, the Spurs needed a win in game four win to tie things back up and sent the series back to Lakers town. However, things did not go as planned for them. Game four was a close game all the way through. With just a few seconds left on the clock, the Lakers were up 93-91. On the last attempt of the game, Brandon Barry tried a shot and missed which ended the game, giving the Lakers a 3-1 series lead and the next game at their home court.

With summer here I want to share the perfect way to take the edge off of the stressful work week.  On the weekend, everyone wants to relax buy the pool and have a good time.  Well my turbo margaritas are the perfect thing to accompany the pool and your relaxation.  For a big batch, start with a a half gallon of tequila, a gallon of margarita mix, one bottle of sweet and sour mix, a twelve pack of corona, and some lime juice.  Mix all of this together and enjoy.  It taste great and has enough power to relax you after the most stressful of work weeks. So have a great summer and enjoy a great drink as well.

  The Boston Celtics were the NBA’s best team all season long.  When they were at home, this team seemed almost unbeatable.  On the road, the story was not much different.  In the first  two rounds of the playoffs, the Celtics are undefeated at home.  However, they can not buy a win on the road.  The first series went to seven game, and the amazing part is that the Celtics were playing the  Hawks. In the second series, the story was the same, four home wins, three road losses.  Now the Celtics face the Detroit Pistons in the conference semifinals.  I don’t believe the Celtics will be able to keep this trend  up against the Pistons. Thy are facing a very good road team that is also playoff proven.  The Celtics need to pick up their game if they want to win the series and move into the  finals.

  I recently found an activity/game that is great for many things including having a great time.  The other day I was on the phone with my girlfriend when suddenly she got mad at me and we were in a fight.  Since I was with my friend, he said he had an idea to take my mind off of her.  He drove to the driving range.  At first I didn’t know how this was going to help me, but after five minutes, I was having a great time and I had forgotten all about the fight with my girlfriend.  It just seemed like I was in my own world.  Not only was it a great time, it was also a great workout.  The next day my whole body was sore.  I was working my muscles in a whole new way.  So if you have any anger or stress built up, or your just looking for some fun, then you should try hitting the driving range.

  With summer now here for the college kids and just around the corner for the rest of us, many people are trying to think of places to go on vacation.  Well, here are three good ideas for a vacation that is fun for the whole family.  The first is a trip down to Destin, Florida.  The kids will love the beach and all the sun and sand.  There is plenty to do at night, such as movie theaters, parks, and also arcades.  The second is Cancun, Mexico.  The only thing about this is that you will need a passport, however nothing can beat the Mexican ocean, sun, and, not to mention, parties.  The last is a cruise.  These are somewhat expensive, but there is no comparison to the fun that a cruise can bring.  You sail the ocean, soak up the sun, and did I mention all the food is free!  With these ideas for a nice vacation, everyone should have a fun summer.  Just remember to be safe.

  Many kids view entertainment as watching TV or playing video games for hours at a time.  I have found that there is a better way for kids to have fun and learn at the same time.  They won’t learn English or history, but they will learn life skills.  This type of learning comes in the form of a board game called, “Monopoly.”  Monopoly teaches kids to do math by counting money, but that is not all it teaches them. Kids will learn strategies such as money management and conservation.  These are skills that you must have to win the game.  They are also skills that can help these kids in life.  Saving money, learning only to spend for what you only need, and also critical thinking are things that kids can learn to help them in the game and also in life.